Still A Little Late.

But not as bad as usual.

3:05pm

I actually got a good amount of sleep last night. But all was not perfect, of course. Shem bugged me a few times while I was sleeping. I suppose that’s not the worst thing in the world, but it’s not fun to be woken up by a cat chewing on your hair.

It was a pretty good night besides that, though. I don’t really remember dreaming much, which is good. Usually, the ones that stick around are the bad ones. Maybe that means I didn’t have a bad dream. It’s possible.

I still haven’t gotten around to recording a new vBlog. I guess you probably noticed that, though. Not sure when I will get to it. It may just wait until next week. It’s not like I have much to say.

Which is par for the course, really. When DO I have something to say? Not often enough, I guess. You would think that I could come up with something, given the course of my days, but apparently you would be wrong.

I was wondering one thing, though. About streaming. Is it better to stream one game over and over, or to switch games up? I’ve seen it go both ways with varying degrees of success. I would think that showing off more games would be better, but a lot of people seem to just stick to one thing. Again, I’ve seen both ways work, but I’m not sure which is better. I was planning on doing all sorts of games, but if I’m not going to get an audience, that could be problematic. I worry about this stuff a lot. I suppose because I want to be popular, and I have no way to know how to get there.

You might ask why that even matters. It does. I don’t want to be doing it in a vacuum. But everyone has to start somewhere, I suppose. I don’t know that Final Doom is the best place to start, but that’s what we’re doing.

Well, that’s assuming I ever get another headset. I suppose I should worry about that before I worry about getting an audience. I mean, if I don’t have the equipment to do it, then there’s nothing to see. I suppose we will see what Logitech has to say when they get around to my support topic again. I will be cross if I have to go buy another headset. Especially since that would probably take a couple months before I was able to do that.

In other news, my leg is feeling still a bit better today. Not a whole lot, but it’s getting there. And it stopped bleeding last night. Although today, it’s leaking something mostly clear. It had been fine, but I must have sat in such a way as to rip something a little open. Hopefully, that will stop, and we won’t have any more problems with that.

I never did play anything last night. I got all caught up in videos, though, so there’s that. I suppose you could say that I’m actually behind on the one person I watch, but I’m always behind there, because they stream for like eight hours a day. I get behind in the VOD’s pretty easy that way, but it’s not like it’s a horrible thing. Just watch what I can, when I can, and things will work out well enough.

Not sure what today is going to bring yet. There may be gaming on the horizon, I’m not sure. I’d kinda like to, but you know how that goes with me. It’s never as simple as it seems.

I suppose that’s pretty much all I have right now. I can’t think of much anything else to add right now. But, you know, I’ll be back later, most likely. Maybe something interesting will happen between here and there. For now, I am off.

Not Enough Sleep.

It never is.

8:18pm

So, I didn’t record again today, but I had a pretty good reason for that. I spent a good portion of the day kinda in and out of sleep. You see, I took one of my pills late yesterday, and that totally fucked up my sleeping. I mean, I know at one point I got up to have a cig and it was after 9:30, and I still hadn’t slept. I did get a little bit in a little while after that, but up until then…nothing.

So, I’ve been pretty tired today. I certainly didn’t get anything of any substance done today. Hell, this is the most that I’ve done at one time today. I guess that’s something.

But no gaming. I may try to get some in tonight. We’ll have to see how much I wake up in the next couple hours. I mean, I’m okay right now, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t get really tired again soon.

In other news, my leg is feeling better today, though it started bleeding some today. I hope that’s not a major problem.

I suppose that’s all I have right now. It’s not exactly been an exciting day. Maybe if we’re lucky, things will get more exciting later. We shall see.

A Day Away.

Apparently.

2:07am

So, I kinda missed recording today. I suppose that I will get to that tomorrow. Well, I should, at any rate. And I didn’t post before now, either, which is kinda unusual.

I don’t even have a good reason for it. It’s not like today was a particularly bad day or anything like that. Just kinda an off day for me, I guess.

But really, you haven’t missed anything. I’ve been watching videos, but I’m just about all caught up on everything, I think. Not sure what I’m going to do at that point. Maybe I’ll actually play some games.

I’ve been saying that for days. I want to get into a game, but I keep watching videos. Of course, like I said, I’m about done with that, at least on a continual basis. Hell, I could just let them build up a little bit again if I really want.

So, maybe I’ll get into a game again soon. That would be good. I’m not sure what game it might be, though. I suppose I’ll figure that out at some point.

I guess that’s about all I have for now. I can’t think of anything else, at least. Maybe I’ll have something interesting for you tomorrow.

Jinder Mahal?

He’s Champion.

12:40pm

It’s pretty dark out tonight.

I suppose you would say that it’s dark every night, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m not talking about the PPV, either.

I’m being naughty tonight. I’m listening to music, and you know how that goes. It never goes well.

It’s not my fault. At least, not all of it is. It’s as much her fault as it is mine. And don’t act like you don’t know who I’m talking about. So much time together, so much music that is inextricably related to her. So much that I just can’t listen to anymore. Not easily, anyways.

The worst part is, I’m not drunk. I may have been drinking, but there apparently wasn’t enough for me to get blasted. I’ll have to live with that. And right now, so do you.

You know, for someone who said that she couldn’t imagine not having me in her life, she’s done a really good job of making sure that I’m not in her life in any way whatsoever.

And I have to live with that. I have no other choice. And it sucks. And it hurts.

And right now you’re saying that it’s been over four years, you need to fucking get over it already.

And to that, I say…well, probably. But I haven’t. And I don’t know if I can.

You’re just being a bitch, you say. And I say in reply…well, yeah. I am.

But what else can you do when the one you’re supposed to be with forever doesn’t want you? When she throws you away?

I suppose if you’re like me, you just fester. You let it eat away at you. You let it take over. You let it color everything.

I’m tired of hurting. I should just let go and move on. Move on to what? Hahaha. Nothing, of course. There’s nothing to move on to. You’re insane. You’re broken. No one wants that. If Tammy couldn’t stay, who could?

No one. I know that. I’m broken and alone, and I will always be that way.

Maybe always won’t be as long as some people think.

I hurt tonight. Not just physically. You probably knew that already.

I hurt, and I cannot make it go away.

I hurt, and it’s killing me.

I hurt, and it will kill me.

Or I will.

 

Some Sleep.

But never enough.

4:06pm

I got some sleep last night. The alcohol helped.

I could use some more sleep, though. That would be kinda nice. Too bad that I doubt napping will happen. Oh well.

My leg hurts. You probably could have figured that one out on your own, but I’ll give it to you as a freebie. And the pain meds that they gave me after the surgery don’t friggin’ work at all. I suppose I should try ibuprofen and see if that does anything.

So, this is a little bit later than the usual post. Not as late as yesterday, of course, but still, later than normal. I suppose there’s nothing inherently wrong with that, just pointing it out.

Tomorrow is video recording day. I don’t really have much to talk about, though, like usual. Maybe something will come up during the day today. That would be good. It’d be better than a few minutes of me stammering about how I don’t  have much to say.

I think I’m going to have to send another message to Logitech. I haven’t heard anything in almost a week now. I still think they’re trying to get out of resolving the issue.

I suppose I don’t have much to say right now, either. I haven’t done anything exciting today, just reading a little bit. Not sure if I’ll get around to playing a game or not. It’s possible.

I suppose that since I have nothing else for you right now, I shall wander off and do…something. Something that I can find a good position to sit in. Anyways, I am off, for now.

Not Enough.

Sleep.

6:06pm

Well, as I said yesterday, it was a surprise when I didn’t want to come home and sleep. What WAS a surprise, however, was the fact that my body didn’t want to sleep at all, for any reason. Even for bedtime.

So, I didn’t really sleep last night, and I’ve been tired as hell all day today. I’ve kinda faded in and out a bit today, but nothing like an actual nap or anything like that. I could surely use one of those.

I have no idea why I didn’t sleep. I took my meds. It just didn’t want to happen, I guess. Not my idea of a good time.

So, really, I’ve been too tired to do much of anything today. Even typing this up is a bit of a struggle. Not sure what I’ll be doing for the rest of the night, but it probably won’t be anything I have to put much effort into.

I hope I sleep tonight. I have a bottle of SoCo that will hopefully help me. We shall see, though.

For now, I suppose I shall wander off and find something simple to do. I’ll be over here taking it easy. Not sure if I’ll be back or not, though.

Too Much Blood.

I think.

6:07pm

To my surprise, I didn’t want to just go to bed and sleep for the rest of the day when I got home. Although, it seems to still be bleeding. I had thought they were going to put some dressing on it before they sent me home, but I guess not. I put a little something on there myself, but I don’t know how long it’s gonna hold.

I suppose it still bleeding some isn’t the worst thing in the world, but it makes me worried just the same. I guess if it’s still like this tomorrow, I’ll have to call the doctor or go into the E.R. or something. So, I hope it finishes up whatever it’s doing today and tonight.

It’s starting to hurt a little bit, as well. Guess the local anesthetic is wearing off. They gave me some pain meds, but I’m a little leery to take them. Well, at least right now. I may be saying something different in an hour.

So, as you can probably guess, I haven’t done too much today. I mean, I got cut open, what more do you really want? I will say that I woke up WAY too early today, and that gave me time to think and freak out. I was pretty close to cancelling the procedure, but I didn’t, as you can tell.

As for the rest of the evening/night. That’s anybody’s guess at this point. I may watch some vids, or I may play a game, to take a more active role in my distraction. The question then becomes, what game will I be playing? There’s a ton of games installed right now and I could even install a new one, if I wanted. I should probably work with what I already  have on the hard drive, though.

I think too much choice may be paralyzing me again. If I wasn’t in self imposed exile from Fallout 4 for right now, I’d probably just play that. That’s actually the only Fallout game that I have installed right now. Which is kinda weird for me. I usually have New Vegas installed, as well. At one point, I had all of the Fallout games installed, but that was before I had to replace the hard drive.

I suppose I don’t have a whole lot else to say right now. Maybe I’ll figure out what the hell I’m doing at some point tonight. That would be good. Anyways, I’ll be back later.

They All Fall Down.

It’s true.

11:23pm

So, I have finally beaten Titan Quest. I am glad. The final boss wasn’t even too terribly difficult. It was a long fight, though. But now, it is done. I’ve even gone and uninstalled it already. I figured that I may as well, since I’m not going to be doing that again any time soon.

So, that’s one more game down. Feels good. I haven’t completed a game in a while now. I mean, I’ve played quite a few, but this is the first one I’ve beaten since…Fallout 4, I think. That means it’s been quite some time.

I actually got done with that a little bit ago. I’ve been doing some video watching since then. It seemed like a good idea. Heh.

So, tomorrow I get to have this cyst cut out of me. I’m kinda nervous about it. I mean, it can’t be too bad, since it’s outpatient, but I’m still a bit worried.

Don’t be surprised if you don’t hear from me tomorrow. I will probably be doing a fair amount of sleeping, but we shall see.

For now, I think I’m going to keep up doing what I’m doing. I may change my mind, but we shall see on that. For now, I am out.

Super Powder.

Or something.

3:50pm

So, this is a bit later than usual. I’ve been kinda half asleep for a little bit. Fading in and out, sitting here in my chair. I think I’m mostly awake now, but I was mostly awake after I first got up, too.

So, that means that I haven’t actually done anything yet today of note. I’m thinking that I will try and push through to the end of Titan Quest today. I would like to get that done, and I’m pretty close now.

Once that is done, I’m not sure what I will be doing. Maybe watching videos, or maybe I will go ahead and start another game. I’m just not sure at this point.

I suppose I don’t have much else to say right now. I guess that means it’s time for me to wander off and do something. It sounds like a plan, at least.

A Titan Falls.

Again.

1:34am

So, I spent a bunch of time today playing Titan Quest. I went a pretty long way, an still haven’t made it to the end yet. I’m getting close, though. I’m at the last portal, but if it’s as long as the last couple sections were, it will be a while before I get there.

I have to admit, Titan Quest is a hell of a lot bigger than I thought. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad, though. I know that I will be glad when I get to the end of it, that’s for sure.

That’s about the long and the short of it for my day. I suppose that doesn’t seem too terribly exciting, but that’s what it is.

Also, I don’t really have anything else to talk about right now. I suppose that means it’s time for me to head off and do something or other. More tomorrow.