I Feel Inadequate.

It’s true, I do.

1:24am

So, I’ve spent a good portion of the past couple days watching shit on Twitch. Some live, some VOD. It’s been interesting, that’s for sure.

Anyways, as I was saying. I feel woefully inadequate. I found out that the person that has more power armor than me has a LOT more power armor. I felt pretty good with 70, but he has almost 300. That makes me really sad. I though I was doing well, but I guess not. Of course, I’m not entirely sure where I would even keep 300 armors. I mean, I have the 70 at Graygarden, and I could probably go up to around 100, if I used the last floor in that building.

I suppose I could go on for quite a while, just about the power armor. But, I doubt that I’m going to stay with this game long enough to get over 200 more power armors. I could, but I don’t know if I really want to or not. I mean, that’s a lot more work.

Anyways, I have that to think about, and I also have some other stuff to thing about, like finishing the Diablo II streams. I should be able to do it okay, I just need to actually do it.

The problem with that, though, is that I’m not sure when to actually do it. I mean, I’m trying to work around when the kids are home, but I don’t really know that much about their schedules, so that I could come up with a good time to do this shit. I want to, and I may end up having to choose a time when someone besides myself is home. I don’t know that that’s a bad thing, but I don’t want to be a distraction, either.

Things to think about, that’s for sure. I mean, I would love to finish off D2, and then move on to something else, like the new Fallout 4 run that I keep thinking about. But that’s not until after D2 is done, and I have no idea when that might be.

I guess that I don’t really have much else to say tonight besides that. I can’t think of anything to add, at least. I suppose that means it’s time for me to wander off, and have another drink or two. It’s something that I’ve been working on tonight, but I’m not getting a whole lot of love.

Anyways, I am off, right about…Now.

Away For Days.

Again.

1:29am

I’m really not good at remembering to post every day. I need to work on that more. Even if I don’t have much to say, I should do it anyways.

So, you haven’t missed a whole lot. Got drunk out a bit one night, got a fair amount of Fallout 4 in. Did some chores. Not really anything exciting. I suppose FO4 is kinda exciting, but I keep not playing it for too terribly long, because I don’t want my video card to die. That would be a problem.

But I have gotten some stuff done all the same. I have most of the magazines now. Need a few more, but for one, I think I need to have some more affinity with MacCready. I’m working on it, but I’m not there yet.

I don’t think that I really have much else to do. I’ve gotten a couple more quests out of the way. I probably have very few missing quests, if any. I’ve been doing okay at knocking them out.

Although, now that I’m almost done, I feel ready to finish up. I got my power armors, and I have most of the magazines, and all the bobbleheads. There’s not really much else to clean up in the Commonwealth. I suppose I could move some more stuff from Sanctuary to Graygarden. There’s not a whole lot of point to that, I don’t think, at least. I mean, it might be nice to have everything located in the same place, but I don’t know that there’s enough game to matter anymore.

We will see about that, I suppose. I am glad that I got that Power Armor video out the other day. I stalled on that for several days. Okay, maybe a week or so, but I finally got it.

I suppose that’s about all I have for now. I can’t think of much anything else to add right now. I keep hoping that I will have more to post about, but it seems like there’s a lot of days that there’s not something worth speaking about in my brainpan. I suppose that’s not a shock, though.

Okay, for now, I am going to wander off and maybe play some more Fallout. Sounds like a good idea, but I’m not entirely sure what to do next. Maybe I’ll figure that out soon.

Guess What I Did!

Made a video, it’s true, it’s true.

3:59pm

I won’t keep you in suspense too long, I made a video for my Power Armor collection finally. I know it’s been a fair bit of time coming, but now it’s finally here!

I hope you enjoy!

Time For Something.

A post, perhaps.

12:51 am

So, it’s been a little bit, but not too long. I have had some problems sleeping again the past couple nights. Taking forever to fall asleep, waking up, the cat, and all that. I’m really hoping that tonight is better. I suppose we shall see about that one.

Speaking of, I have my meds now, so maybe I will sleep better. I’m hoping.

Anyways, I’ve spent a fair bit of time playing Fallout 4. Going around and getting the magazines. Apparently, I’ve forgotten or not see the magazine in a few places that I’ve already been in. Guess I need to keep a better eye out for that stuff.

I feel kinda bad playing Fallout, since I seem to be cooking my video card every time that I play. I suppose that means that I should stop doing that. But I’ve been doing that for so many hours now. Anyways, maybe I’ll back off for a while after I get my video done. Suppose I should do that before long, then.

Maybe I can even do it tomorrow. It’s possible.

I can’t say that I’ve done a whole lot beyond that. Some videos, but I got done with what I was watching on YouTube. Maybe that means it’s a good time to wrap up with FO4 for a little bit. It’s a thought.

Anyways, I suppose I am mostly done for now. I don’t have all that much else to say. I don’t know if that’s good or bad tonight. We will see, I suppose.

Okay, I am off.

Really, That’s Not A Great Idea.

That’s what I thought later, at least.

10:17pm

The whole article thing, I mean. Looking back at yesterday, I can see where I was coming from, but I’m not sure that’s really what I want to be all about on here. It sounded good in theory, in practice, probably not so much.

Anyways, I’ve actually had a decent day today. I’m tired as hell because I kept waking up last night, after taking a while to fall asleep again. First I kept waking up due to acid indigestion, after I finally got that under control, Danzig decided to be a pest and kept waking me up. I was not overly happy about that.

I even had a decent dream last night, which is a nice change of pace. I’m hoping that I sleep better tonight, but the odds of that are not great.

I haven’t really done too much today. I did do some dishes, if that excites you. Besides that, I’ve been on YouTube for a while, and that’s about it. I’m thinking I may play some Fallout 4 in a little bit, but we shall see.

Besides that, you haven’t missed anything. I suppose it’s about time for me to wrap this up, then. Maybe I’ll have more later, but probably not enough to pop my head in for the second time. We shall see, though, maybe something interesting will go on. Never can tell.

With that, I am out.

I Missed Another Post.

But you’re used to that, I guess.

11:30pm 2/10/18

Not sure if I’ll get this done before midnight hits.

Not that this is going to be long, by any means, at least not to the person reading.

I didn’t do much yesterday. Just watched some videos, and I did that again today, though I’m getting close to running out of videos, at least for the current thing I’m watching.

But that’s not really why I’m here. I mean, yes, keeping you informed is part of it, and that IS why I’m posting, but I’m not here to talk about videos. At least not right now.

I’m more here to talk about something I was thinking about while I was not sleeping last night. Yes, I had problems sleeping again. It took me at least four hours to fall asleep, and then I had nightmares for a while, then I woke up, and eventually fell asleep again, with a bit better dreams, but that was all they were, dreams. Danzig woke me up around 10am playing with my bathroom door, even though I had shoved a sock in it to keep it quiet. It wasn’t enough. I eventually got him to stop, and I feel back asleep for a while, but it wasn’t really restful.

Of course, I’m also not here right now to talk about how I slept. Shitty, that’s how I slept. Anyways, it was what I was thinking, or at least one of the things I was thinking while I was awake.

I was thinking about doing a series of posts on me, and my illnesses and problems. I mean, I thought about it, but I have a very small audience right now, and they will probably be buried by the time I actually have people checking this shit out, but I thought about it anyways. I know it would be at least several articles, and I don’t know when I would publish them. My theory is that I would write them all first, before starting to have them appear on the site.

I don’t know if that’s a good idea or not. I want people to know about my problems. I want people to be able to talk about mental illness, but at the same time, I’m opening myself up for disappointment.

It’s a thought, anyways, and I’m not sure anything will come of it, but it’s possible.

On a random thought, I would think that at least a few people would have stumbled in randomly to the site, and at least one would stick around, but as far as I can tell, that’s not the case. I have barely had any views since Google in India was trying to send people to my site for some MP3 that I didn’t have. Not sure how that worked.

I suppose I would say that I would like some input on my idea, but realistically, there’s only one person that’s going to read this, and he probably won’t even say anything.

I guess for now I am off. Not sure what I’m going to be doing at this point. I was thinking about playing Fallout 4, but I’m not sure if I will tonight, we shall see. For now, I will wander off and try to hide.

I Missed A Post.

But you didn’t miss anything.

9:57pm

And I guess you’re still not really missing anything. I played Grim Dawn with Cable for a little bit today, but mostly the past time has been sitting here with a cloud over my head.

I wish I knew what started this, so I could figure out how to end it. I would consider having a drink but, A.) I don’t have any. B.) I need to not drink so much. So there’s that, and it really wasn’t helping me anyways.

I still have to call ParkCenter. I’ve been avoiding that. I’ve also been avoiding making that video and streaming. Wish I knew why for sure, but I’m sure I could come up with some horrible excuse if pressed. I’ve got to get this shit straightened out so I can get my meds back as soon as possible.

I’ve got six hours to go tonight, still. Unless I go to bed early like I did last night. Not sure what I’m going to do. I should watch a video or play a game instead of staring at the wall, I suppose. It would probably be better for my mental health. It’s just so hard to get motivated, though.

I guess that’s really all I have right now, unless you really want to hear me complain about depression more. Anyways, I suppose I am of to try to do something.

I Feel Like Shit.

It’s true.

5:00am

I’m up late. I’m not having a good night.

I’ve spent some time watching a couple of movies, but they just made me feel worse.

I don’t know what’s going on. I *do* know that I don’t have all my meds. I know I still need to call and get an appointment, but I’m probably gonna be screwed in the meantime.

I suppose I’m about done for tonight. I’m pretty fucking tired. And I’m really tired of feeling like shit, but I don’t know that that’s going to be fixed anytime soon.

I can hope.

I’ll Tell You What.

We got fucking screwed over, again. And by the Patriots again, of course. Josh McDaniels was supposed to be our next coach in Indy, but he all of the sudded backed out. I don’t think that should be allowed, and certainly shouldn’t be allowed to meddle on our coaching search.

But, of course, the Pats are allowed to do anything they want, including stealing coaches from other teams. When they commit to a team, they should fucking have to stay with that. Not weasel their way out because Robert Kraft think’s they’re better than that.

So, what the fuck are the Colts supposed to do? Find someone on the coaching block still? They’re not around. They’ve already been hired by someone else. But of course, when the Colts are holding out for a hero, that piece of garbage is negotiating with someone else.

I guess that means that the Colts are going to be garbage again for another year. I don’t see why any coach would not want to have Andrew Luck on their team.

But then, it’s not like anyone really cared about what I wanted. I don’t want that much, but I can’t even get that.

Sucks for me, I suppose.

Small Update.

It’s true.

3:25am

I wanted to make sure to get a post in today, so here it is. I know it’s kinda late, but that happens sometimes.

I’ve been tired all day today, which is weird, since I ended up sleeping late today. Maybe I had fitful sleep last night. But I’ve fallen asleep a couple times today, and am about to head to bed a little early.

That’s all I have for now.