A small-time update from a small-time guy.

Not much to say, really. My computer is working pretty hard right now, though. It’s downloading games in both Steam and GOG Galaxy, and it’s also indexing all my media in Plex, so I can get my media server back up and running.

Of course, it was football day today, and also WWE TLC was on, so I spent a bit of time watching stuff. Of course, the Colts game isn’t until tomorrow, and I won’t be able to watch it, but I guess that’s how it goes sometimes.

It’s been a pretty quiet day besides that. Nothing too interesting, at least. I suppose that’s really all I have right now.

Now it’s not so early.

I ran out of alcohol. Well, kinda. I ran out of what was in the bottle.

Also, apparently I am a nice target for Danzig’s teeth. What a jerk.

Really, there’s not much for me to say besides the fact that I have run out of alcohol in this bottle. It makes me sad. Of course, I have more. I could open another bottle, but that would be kinda silly.

Not that I don’t want to. I do, but I won’t. I need to be, well, responsible some of the time. Not too often, but it happens once in a while. To be honest, the most responsible person around here is Cable.

I do what I can, of course. I mean, as long as I don’t have to leave the house, I’m mostly content to do whatever you want me to. Not that I have to, for the mostpart. Details, I suppose.

But anyways, there’s not much for me to say right now, but there are a few things for me to think about. Which sucks, because, as you know, I really hate thinking. Thinking leads to thoughts, thoughts lead to bad thoughts, bad thoughts lead to felonies, and I am too gentle and pure to spend time in prison.

Really, I’m not entirely sure why I posted this, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Heh.

It’s early for me tonight.

Isn’t that wonderful? I know you love it. Well, I do. Of course, I’ve been chemically altered a bit tonight, so I may even forget that I did this, and will end up posting again.

Anyways, I’m hanging out with a bottle of SoCo. 100 Proof, of course. I’ve been indulging in other ways, too, but that’s not too important. But, anyways, I’ve been just kinda hanging out with the WWE Network this evening, since Cable is at work tonight. Plus, I’ve been thinking. Some good, and some bad. The bad part, of course, is that the bad thoughts are like, really bad. And annoying and painful and this and that and the other thing. You get what I mean.

I suppose maybe the bad thoughts aren’t as bad as they seem. Well, I don’t mean that exactly. They were bad, but they weren’t destructive. That’s closer to what I mean, really. I suppose you could also say that they were more bad in a sad kinda way and not an angry kinda way.

I suppose I could go into specifics, but I don’t know that I want to do that right now. That could change before long. Hell, that could change tonight. I just don’t know right now.

I know that I don’t want to be sad. I mean, for fucks sake, I cry almost every day. Because of this, or that, or that thought, or that worry, or that memory, or that…hell, it could be any reason, really.

You would think that this might mean that my anti-depressant isn’t working. That’s quite possible. I’ve been using it a long time, and maybe it’s not effective anymore. Of course, I never really thought that it was too terribly effective in the first place, but I’m afraid to say much anything, because they will want to put me on something else that is probably more expensive, and I can barely afford to pay for what I have now.

Well, that’s not entirely true. It’s more like, I can’t afford it, but I can’t go without it, either. So I have to figure out a way to pay for it. On the bright side, it’s only once every three months. Well, not totally, not anymore. One med I’m going to have to call in every month, and I’m not going to like it because I have to go to Walmart to get my prescriptions. That’s literally the only vendor that I can go to with my insurance. Of course, since there’s three of them in Fort Wayne, that’s not a horrible problem.

Anyways, these bad and/or dark thoughts are really bringing me down. I mean more than usual. I almost want to sit around and listen to music. That’s never a good thing. I will almost always choose to listen to the most painful stuff that I can find in my library. And don’t get me wrong, there are not ‘just a few’ songs that trigger the pain and the crying and all that. There’s a metric fuckton of them. That’s a real measurement, I’m sure the internet will agree.

But, besides all that, it’s been a pretty uneventful day. It was a shitty night last night, though. I didn’t fucking sleep at all. I laid there for about seven hours, just laying there trying desperately to will myself to sleep, and it just not happening. I will sleep tonight. I’m pretty sure, at least, since I have a bottle with me. There was one drink already taken out of it, but since the majority is…well, was there, I should be good. Of course, the last time, I didn’t even get horribly drunk, which is sad. I got a good buzz going on, but that was about it. I mean, I even mostly remembered what I did the night before, which is really the best I can ask for even if I haven’t been drinking. So, I think I did well in that regard.

I suppose I’m rambling a little bit at this point. Or maybe a lot. At any rate, I don’t have much else to talk about right now. Well, I do, and I don’t. Maybe I’ll find a good time to start posting a few of the things that I’ve been thinking about posting. We shall see. For now, back to the wrestling.

A title to end all titles.

I’m tired. It’s two and a half hours before bed, but I feel like I could go now. Of course, it would take hours for me to fall asleep. Blah.

Anyways, not a whole lot went on again today. I will say, though, that I do have a couple things to talk about quick. I mean, there was some stuff that was missed in October and November, from times when I didn’t post.

Actually, I can really only think of three things that I haven’t commented on yet. The first one is that Cable has a new job now. Well, it’s not so new at this point, but you know what I mean. Also, we have another cat now. It’s Cable’s cat from his mom’s house. I wasn’t sure how Danzig would dig that. It actually turned out that he was surprisingly accepting of it. Not right away, but it was much less painful than I thought it would be. That was nice.

The only other interesting thing came from the other day. I had my quarterly ParkCenter appointment, and this time I actually got all my medication. That’s kinda nice, since I didn’t get all of it last time, and I just never called to get it fixed. Of course, that’s part of the reason that I’ve been sleeping so poorly, maybe. I didn’t have any sleeping meds. I have one now, but I don’t think it’s actually working, at least not well. I still take a long time to fall asleep. I don’t know. Maybe it needs to build up some? We shall see.

I was going to post something earlier today, but I got distracted, and now I don’t remember what I was going to talk about.

I do want to mention that I think Bethesda sending a takedown notice for DoomRL is kinda dumb. If you’ve been around a while or have looked through the old posts, you probably know that I have a little bit of DoomRL stuff in there. Nothing too earth shattering, but interesting none-the-less.

You know, I was thinking about playing through the old Ultima games at some point. I mean like the first three. Although, I will say that I think I will probably have to use a guide to get through them. I remember trying to play, Ultima 3, I think it was, and I had no clue what the hell I was doing. Of course, I was a lot younger back then, and there wasn’t GameFaqs. I don’t know when I’d get around to doing that, but it’s a thought.

I really have nothing else to add. Nothing exciting happened today, but that seems like the way it is most of the time. That’s not a problem for me, though. At any rate, that’s all I have for now, now that I’ve been typing for a while. Hehe.

I don’t want a title.

I mean, it sounds good.

It’s been a pretty normal day today, I suppose. One more month down. That means there’s only one left to go, and then we’ll finally be done with this miserable year. Of course, we get to start off the year with the inauguration of President Trump. I’m still not sure how that happened.

Anyways, not much going on today, as you probably could have guessed. I’m actually installing a few more games off Steam right now. Plus, I think I have Fallout 4 all set up again, so I may start playing that at some point. I mean, I know it’s not something that I haven’t already played, but I was having a pretty good time when I was playing before, so maybe I can do that again.

Plus, I have a bunch of other games that are installed. Also, at some point, I’d like to check out the Diablo 1 stuff that’s coming to Diablo 3. I think it’s still on the PTR right now, and hasn’t come out proper. I could be wrong, though. I don’t really follow D3 too closely. I will say that I am looking forward to the Necromancer pack that’s coming out next year.

You know, I really can’t think of any games that are coming out soon that I really care about. I mean, besides the recent release of Pokemon Sun and Moon, which I will need to pick up one of at some point. Actually, I can’t really even name anything that’s coming out soon. Maybe I should change that. Hehe.

I even downloaded a few free games today. Kinda like I did a while back. I mean, there’s not good reason not to. And if I never get around to checking them out, I haven’t even lost anything. Plus, it’s always good to have a stash of games in reserve. If Valve ever dies, Steam could suddenly go away, and that would be no fun.

I suppose I don’t have a whole lot else to talk about right now. It’s been a light day, so nothing else really went on.

Another holiday.

It’s Thanksgiving. Well, it was a couple hours ago, at least.

I spent the whole day alone and had hot wings. That’s generally how Thanksgivings go for me. I also watched football, though the Colts lost. I didn’t do a whole lot else today. Not that that’s a problem, it was a holiday after all.

I’ve been meaning to post for several days now, but it seems like something keeps me from getting to it. Either I’m distracted by wrestling, or distracted by something else. I also tend to have cat lap when I initially go to post. It’s kinda a pain sometimes. Although, I will say that I haven’t had too much interesting to say, so maybe it’s best that I just shut up. I don’t know.

I guess I don’t really have a whole lot to say right now, either. I wanted to get a post in, though. I hope to get one or two in tomorrow. I may even have something interesting to say. I suppose that depends on whether I remember any of the stuff that I’ve kinda been wanting to post. I want to do them earlier in the day, though, so I’m not so tired. Of course, I have a feeling that tonight is not going to be a good night for sleeping. I could be wrong.

I think for now, though, I’m going to watch a little wrestling and just kinda chill for the last hour before bed. Maybe if I end up laying in bed wide awake for a few hours again, I’ll pop on the Chromebook and post something else. Of course, the last time that I said that, it ended up not happening. I suppose it also depends on whether or not Danzig is laying in bed with me.

Anyways, that’s all for now.

It’s late.

It’s true. It’s getting close to bed time. Not that it matters a whole lot. Maybe I’ll sleep tonight. That would be nice.

I was going to post something else tonight, but when I was about to start posting earlier, my lap filled up with cat. When that happens, it’s not easy to type.

Not much interesting going on today. I did find out, however, that the truck needs more work, because of course. Of course, we don’t really have the money for that, but it’s gonna have to be taken care of before too long.

I guess I don’t have too much to add right now. I mean, I have things to say, but not tonight. Maybe tomorrow.

November, November

It’s getting cold out. It’s actually pretty cold in the house, too. I suppose I should turn the furnace on. Of course, even with it on, I’ll still be cold. Seems like I’m cold all the time anymore.  I spend most of the time in a sweatshirt.

That’s not really what I wanted to talk about, though. I actually slept last night, but had a couple bad dreams. I didn’t really sleep the night before. I’m not sure if I’ll sleep tonight. I hope so. My comforter is all messed up right now. It’s all twisted up and lumpy. Not good. I need to take the duvet all the way off and redo it. It’s about time to wash it anyways. I will try my best to lay under it and not freeze.

Anyways, I’ve been having thoughts the past few days. Not good ones. I want to do bad things. It’s very tempting. Though, to do what I really have in mind, I would need a few things and some money, which I definitely don’t have.

I suppose it will have to remain in my mind for now. And maybe in time, I’ll forget all about it. Or maybe I’ll find something else stupid to do.

Or maybe I’ll learn to let it go with time. Letting go is not something that I’m good at, though.

I suppose that’s all I have right now. I’m getting tired, and it’s still a little while before bedtime. Sad for me, I suppose. I know, I COULD go do bed early, but if I did that, I’d just be laying there not sleeping for even longer.

What do I think?

I suppose that depends on what we’re talking about. I mean, I have many thoughts. Far more than I really want. That’s a problem.

So, what do I want to talk about at this instant? You know, I don’t really know. I knew that I wanted to post, because I’ve been bad at that again. I’ve been meaning to, but every time I think of it, I get sidetracked by something or other. And this isn’t a whole lot earlier than I usually post, so I didn’t even really get that, either.

So, I really don’t have much of a point for this entry, other than to just do an entry. I suppose that’s not a great reason for posting, but there are probably worse reasons.

Nothing interesting going on today, but it wasn’t too bad. Just did some reading and some wrestling watching. I didn’t sleep great last night. I hope that I sleep better tonight, but I am not hopeful. I can feel it being a long night. I hate those.

I don’t have much else to talk about right now. I do have a couple things I want to post about, but I’m going to try and do that tomorrow.

Election day!

Well, I guess not anymore.

I must say, I am terribly disappointed in you America.

At any rate, it’s another day today besides that. Spent much of the day watching wrestling, so not a bad day, I suppose.

I hope I can sleep tonight. Some nights are okay, but some nights are just no good at all. I’m getting a bit tired, and hopefully that’s a good thing.

I have a couple other things rattling around in the ol’ brainpan, but I’ll wait on some of that stuff until tomorrow. Ideally, I’d like to actually post earlier in the day. I will work on that.

Not much else to talk about right now.