The Next Day

I really was back!

12:41 pm

Well, I suppose it is technically the same day still.

I feel the blahs coming on. That’s not great for someone who’s default state is unhappy and uncomfortable.

As you know, I’ve been pretty stuck in Minecraft lately. I haven’t even launched Fallout 76 recently. I’m breaking the current cycle a little bit and not spending all day on Auren’s Minecraft realm. I need to pull my head out and do some actual stuff today.

And after that, I need to move in a slightly different direction. I let the depression win again, and I can’t have that. I mean, I already fucked up one thing. I was gonna do something small in WoW before I ran out of game time, but I didn’t get to it, and now I can’t unless I want to pay for another month. (I don’t right now.)

But I need and want things to change. I’ve been hiding in Minecraft and that needs to change. I need to branch out and do more. I suppose I will come out and say that some of the projects that I want to work on are video stuffs but not streaming. I will say that I am a bit reluctant to do this stuff because I’m afraid that it’s going to be largely pointless. I mean, videos are only useful if people watch them, after all.

I’m feeling a little scattershot with this post. Today’s mental state is not super great, but I’m trying to fix it. I’ve said this before, but I want to be more active on here and on Twitter. And YouTube, I hope. We will see about that, though.

I super don’t have a point, really, just wanted to post, I guess. But things have been really bad lately and it’s taking a toll. It’s time to be more proactive again. To that end, there are a few productive things I need to get in today…like shower, go through the bills, and maybe even put away the clean laundry. Then…games?

I should also try to eat something, I suppose.

Okay, time to wander off, but I will leave you with this little video.

Oh my!

It’s been a week.

12:43 am

Time flies. I can’t believe it’s been a week since I last posted. I haven’t even really been on Twitter, and that’s usually one of my favorite things.

I think something is wrong with me, but I have no idea what it might be. I suppose it could just be depression, but this is unusual. I’m not doing a whole lot else besides Minecraft right now. Of course, this is nowhere near the first time that I’ve been sucked into a game to the detriment of other games and sometimes other real-life things.

I’ve also been twirling my hair a lot the past…two weeks? Maybe more? I don’t know. I haven’t done that for a long time. It usually means that I’m super stressed, but I have no idea why that would be. Well, I suppose the fact that the insomnia has been especially bad the past month or so might be part of that.

Also, for a little bit now, I’ve been kinda wondering if maybe I should try to go to the doctor somehow. Something is obviously wrong. I’m hardly eating and drinking at all, and don’t seem to be too bothered by it. I know that I could stand to lose some weight, but I can’t even remember the last time I actually finished a meal and eating between ‘meals’ is practically nonexistent. And now I can go the whole day and not even finish off two Diet Pepsi or glasses of water.

I mean, I don’t seem to be suffering too much, physically that is, but I’m afraid that is not going to last.

Ugh. My fingers are not moving fast enough to finish everything I want to say tonight. Think I am going to lay down and maybe I can post again tomorrow. I mean, of course I CAN, it’s just will I think about it?

Anyways, goodnight.

Old Man Now?

It could be.

12:19 am

My birthday is now passed, and the day after that has passed, though not by a whole lot.

Yesterday was pretty uneventful. I don’t think I even logged in to 76 yesterday. Err…I mean my birthday. I might have. I know I didn’t yesterday. I was caught deep in the grips of Minecraft. I didn’t accomplish much in there. Well…I kinda did, but it was mostly small stuff. Got a lot more to do, of course.

While there was that, I did get a couple of things made. I made an automatic chicken cooker, though it is definitely not fast, mainly because of RNG. I also made a skeleton farm for that sweet arrow teat. It’s not quite silly unless you have…Looter 3, I think, so you’re getting more than a couple at a time.

At this time, it is ‘bedtime’ for me. Of course, more and more, that just means move to a different room and change positions for a few hours. Sleep? Who needs that, anyways. Apparently not me. I *had* been getting back up and sitting in here for a while to help combat insomnia, but it’s not really helping, and those supplements I bought the other day didn’t do anything, either. It’s too bad, I had heard a lot of good things about that stuff from several people who tried them.

I’m not even sure what might help. Aromatherapy doesn’t work. Supplements don’t work. OTC meds don’t work. Prescriptions don’t work. Alcohol doesn’t work. Weed doesn’t work. Not sure what’s left.

I suppose I will go lay down in a little bit. Will I sleep? Who the fuck knows. Maybe I’ll actually get up if I don’t after a couple of hours. Of course, I may just come in here and watch videos for a few hours. Maybe I should use that time to work on the site, since there’s still stuff I want to do around here. I might as well use that time for something.

But for now, I am going to find something to snack on and then lay down for a while. What comes after that…who knows. I will leave you with this Minecraft screenie from the realm of a couple things Auren did today. His stuff always looks better than mine.

Auren’s character on the left, mine on the right.

Hiding Again.

It happens.

9:17 pm

So, I guess I’ve mostly been avoiding things again in the past few days. I haven’t even really touched Fallout 4, Fallout 76, or Minecraft. I need to spend at least a little bit of time in 76 since Meat Week is running again. Plus, I have a wealth of Minecraft stuff I want to check out and maybe build. Hell, I want to get back around to Fallout 4 mod stuff, too. Plus whatever else wanders across my brain.

Just FYI, I will be older in about 1 hour and twenty minutes. Well, technically, it’s a little over 24, but details.

I am struggling to pull this post together and I have no idea why.

I guess I will end this here for tonight. Not sure what I might get up to for the last couple of hours. Hell, maybe nothing.

I suppose, for now, I will save this and move on. Or something like that. Here’s hoping I get some stuff done tomorrow.

So Very Tired

And I don’t want to move.

8:13 pm

I’m very tired. I noticed about an hour and a half ago. I thought it was still kinda early when I checked the clock, then I remembered I got almost no sleep last night. I had thought for a couple of nights that maybe I had found a product that would actually help me sleep, but I guess the start was just a placebo effect or something because I have not slept much lately.

I’m pretty sure I did a couple things today, though I have only a vague recollection of wandering around the house. One thing I did, though, is I *did* finally cancel my WoW sub again. Should have done it a couple weeks ago, I suppose, but there is one thing that I want to do before it closes up shop for a while again.

It won’t be tonight, however. Hopefully, soon, though. I was going to get to it a few other times, but then I’d put it off right at the last minute. Not going to be able to do that for much longer, though.

Hopefully, I will get some sleep tonight and will have some energy tomorrow to maybe get something done. I have a few things that I want to start on soon, and I’d like to at least poke one with a stick tomorrow.

That’s for later, though. Tonight. Well, really, I’d like to just go in and go to bed for 12 hours, but that will only work if I sleep for those 12 hours. Details, I guess. Not sure what I’m going to do tonight, I suppose. Nothing too physically taxing, that’s for sure.

For now, I’m gonna chill here on the down low, though I wish I had a tub of ice cream right now.


So, I haven’t updated recently. It has actually been longer than I thought it had been. You really haven’t missed much. I’ve actually not been doing much keyboard jockeying the past few days.

Probably should have gotten more 76 time in over the weekend, since it was Double XP weekend. Oh well. I got a fair bit of time in at the beginning.

So, I don’t think I have too much to do for the next few days, so I am hoping to get some Fallout 76, Fallout 4, and maybe Minecraft in.

I’m pretty damn tired, so I probably won’t be doing much tonight. Hopefully, things will be different tomorrow.

For now, I am off. Going to be heading to bed soonish. Should be back tomorrow.

Time For An Update.

Not much of one, admittedly.

10:58 pm (9/9)

Two nights in a row I haven’t been able to sleep. At all. I hope that changes tonight, at least for a few hours. Or maybe in the chair later in the morning? I mean, it IS maintenance day.

I’ve mostly been doing Fallout 4 stuff. Modding it up, doing some playing. Of course, I’m probably going to have to wait to play 4 or 76 tomorrow, because BOTH have mods that will need to be updated when they update.

I suppose that will give me more time to work on other stuff. I did that a little bit after a Fallout 4 crash made me angry. I jumped into Doom(2016) for a bit. I’m not super far into it, but I like it. I think I like watching Doom better than playing it. I’m not going to give up, at least not yet. I’m not gonna put pressure on myself, though, and I’m not gonna worry too much when Doom Eternal comes out in November.

But I have a bunch of games installed and they are somehow mostly multi-player. Now mind you, I usually play them by myself, but I don’t always want to do that. Unfortunately, Auren and I are both fixated on different games right now. I’m all about Fallout 4/76 and he’s FFXIV right now. I can’t really afford to subscribe to that along with WoW.

With less than an hour before I go an try sleeping again, I think I will do a whole bunch of nothing. Then, in the morning…I’ll probably be doing a bit more nothing, at least at one point. We’ll see what happens after that.

It’s Another Day!

It sure is.

11:32 am

So, I disappeared for a couple of days. In the middle of playing Fallout 4, even. I did all that work on getting mods set up and shit, and then I just let it sit for a while.

But I think the ducks are back in a row now. I also think it’s time for some Fallout. I’m thinking I will be doing some of both Fallout 4 and Fallout 76 today.

Not sure what I’m going to be doing about dinner, but I will worry about that when it comes up.

I will try to remember to get a screenie or something for later.

(9/9 7:55am – Oops! Forgot to hit publish yesterday.)

Sunday Update Time!

Well, it seemed like a good idea.

5:23 pm

I didn’t sleep very well last night. I suppose that’s not a great surprise after a few nights of almost normal sleep. I still had to go lay down and try napping, of course. I’m doing okay right now, but I will probably wear down before too long.

I started out with a bit of Fallout 76 today. The only legendary that I came across was an Assassin’s Pipe Wrench. I got rid of that pretty fast. It only had the one effect on it, so it was especially worthless. I did a bit of crafting. There were some repairs, and I made a 10mm SMG. I know it’s not terribly spectacular, but I wanted to play with it and I have a ton of 10mm sitting around. I also worked on the ol’ Power Armor and so Liberty Prime won’t be talking to me for a while, at least.

After that, I did something that I’ve been wanting to for a little while now. I now have a Redbubble shop! I pretty much just did it for myself, but if anyone else wants to order, I’m surely not going to complain. I’ve even got an idea for a second design, but I will work on that later. There’s a link over to the right if you’re interested.

That’s pretty much where we’re at right now. I’m not entirely sure what’s going to be next. I have a few ideas, of course, but don’t know which way I am going to go yet. Depending on what I do, I may be back later. For now, I move on.

Early Morning Stuffs

I’m too tired for this.


So, I just added a couple things to the site. They’re pages with Fallout 4 and Fallout 76 playthoughs that I wanted to highlight. I’m not sure if I like it or not. It seemed like a good idea, but I’m not sure about the execution. I’m kinda 50/50 right now. I could add more stuff like that or I could rip it out in a few days.

In other news, I actually thought of a couple other things that I might do. I was thinking about it when I was laying down trying to sleep earlier. I’m not entirely sure why I keep coming up with projects. Maybe I just want to keep myself busy. What I’m thinking of right now will be real relaxed type stuff. That’s not a bad thing, though.

You will probably see my engagement go up a bit, both here and on Twitter. It won’t be like…superstar stuff, but I want to be more interesting. I guess that’s the best way to put it. Well, maybe not, but that’s the best my tired brain can come up with right now.

I have a few more things I want to do on the site. Just small stuff, though. I’m going to try and get some game time in tomorrow. Some 76 at least, if nothing else. I haven’t got much of that in the past few days. I’m not complaining, though. It’s purely because of me and the things that I’ve been doing. On purpose, even. And it’s stuff I actually wanted to do, which softens the blow quite a bit.

At this point, I kinda want to try heading back to bed, but I’m afraid I still won’t be able to sleep. I should probably try, though. I wish I could sleep like a normal person.

Okay, I suppose I am off for now. I will have more later, I am sure.