Couple Days Later.

It is!

11:51pm (08/22)

It’s getting kinda close to bedtime. I’m not tired right now, though. That’s pretty weird since I got like an hour of sleep at the most last night. It wasn’t great. The night before that was good, though, so maybe good sleep will happen again tonight.

Not a whole lot has been going on. I’ve been playing Fallout 76 and working my way around the house doing some cleaning. Of course, I’ve been a bit random about it, so I do a little in one room, and I do a little in another room, and so on and so forth. I’ll get it all done at some point. I’m not too super worried about it right now, but that may change.

With 76, I’m still looking for weapons. Of course, I’m not entirely sure if I will ever be done with that one. I did get one other thing done today that I wanted to, though. I have a new buddy in camp with me. According to Auren, his name is John Cena:

My new Slothy friend, John Cena.

Isn’t he a cutie?

You will notice that this is a screenshot and not a camera picture. I am out of film and after like…45 minutes, I couldn’t find any crystal to make more, so I gave up with that for the night. I was able to end up with this, though, so it’s not a total loss.

I will lose him at some point, I am sure of that. For now, though, he wanders around mostly in the crops and makes a bunch of noise.

Going back to the cleaning thing. I posted on twitter a bit about it. I’m not just cleaning, I’m trying to move on into the next phase of my life. Unfortunately, that means that some stuff has to go. That also meant that certain files on the hard drives had to go. It kinda sucked. Some of it really sucked, but…it was time. I need to move on.

In completely other news, I was finally able to find a way to keep the browser/WWE Network from being picked up by OBS, so I can still hear that(or YouTube) and it won’t get recorded when I’m making videos. I’ve been recording most everything in 76 lately. I’m not sure why, because they’re not going to be posted on YouTube or anything and I have no idea how much I might actually watch them, if any. Better to have than not? I don’t know.

I really want to rearrange my desk. I think I brought that up the other day, though that may have been on Twitter and not here. I want to be able to put my legs up on the desk again, but I have a monitor in the way right now. I have no idea how I might set it up differently, though. I will have to put more thought into it.

I don’t really have much anything else to add for tonight. I think I am going to watch some YouTube videos for the rest of the evening. I have a Fallout 4 video going right now, though I may move over to looking for Fallout 76 CAMP videos to get some inspiration.

For now, though, I am going to wander off and see what I can see. I hope I get tired soon and that I can sleep. I suppose we will see in a little while how that turns out. Ciao.

Blah and Stuff.

Meh.

12:52 am

I am going to bed soon. I hope I sleep better than last night. That shit was horrible. It was so bad I’ve done almost nothing all day. I didn’t even play 76 today.

I did read the patch notes, though. Of course, I did that about five minutes ago, but details, I suppose. And they fixed Furious! That makes me hella happy. Of course, they didn’t fix the getting out of Power Armor glitch. Halfway there, I guess.

In other news…I’m having a few problems. I’m not really going to talk about them tonight. Maybe later, my brain is too fried right now. But that whole money thing…just got worse when I realized the phone bill is due today, and I still have no money. I don’t even get paid for a week. Hopefully, I can get some of this worked out on Thursday.

Okay…I want to write more, but I need to go to bed before my brain starts leaking out of my ears. I hope I can remember some of what I wanted to say. I know I have a few more thoughts about the 76 patch notes, at least.

Now…off to bed.

Monday Monday.

It could be worse, I guess.

11:49am

Not much for you right now. Yesterday was mostly Fallout 76 and doing this and that. Ended up in another not great SBQ fight when I went through a ton of stuff again. Blah. I think I’m going to decline in participating in that tomfoolery for a few days while I get my supplies restocked.

Anyways, today is the end of the Legendary sale in 76, where the Purveyor is selling Legendaries for 25% off. Well, for eight more minutes, I guess. I burned through a bunch of Scrip this morning and, of course, I really didn’t get anything worthwhile. See for yourself!

But, I got some chores done this morning, which is good and probably doesn’t happen often enough. I will get this shit knocked out eventually.

I need to update Windows again apparently. I did that what..day before yesterday when Windows INSISTED that I update IMMEDIATELY because it was SUPER IMPORTANT, and then the update proceeded to break the hell out of all sorts of things. I hope this one doesn’t do that.

I suppose I should do that before I get settled in and wandering around Appalachia again.

You’ve probably noticed that I keep changing my Twitter name and bio. That shit is probably going to keep happening for at least a little bit more. I’ll get settled down again at some point. Also, I updated the FAQ here a tiny bit. I could probably fix it up some more, but I will have to put more thought into it, and you know how much I love to think. (I don’t.)

I don’t think I really have anything else to add right now. I downloaded Avidemux today. I’m hoping I can get that to work better than Flimora, which I couldn’t get to work. I have some video I want to work on, and I hope this works.

Gah. I think I need to trim the hair near my ears because it’s bothering me. I may have to do that sooner than later.

I think that’s about it for now. Need to go and move stuff from the washer to the dryer. I don’t think I need to do a second load today, though. Did a couple other things, too, but they are done and not ongoing like the load of laundry.

So, I will go do that. I suppose I will have Windows update and restart, and then…I”m not sure. I will either mess with videos or just jump into 76. We will see. But for now, I am off.

It’s Sunday!

There was a pretty decent storm this morning. It was early enough that I was still in bed and it actually woke me up. I even got more than a couple hours of sleep last night!

I actually feel…maybe not awesome, but certainly not bad. Not like yesterday. It’s probably because I got some actual sleep last night. Yesterday was bad…I was at the point where I was kinda trying to find a way to the ER or something. Didn’t really find much, but it’s better today, so….

Among other things, that cyst started bleeding yesterday. It wasn’t too bad until later in the day. Well, probably not until after like 9pm or so…then the fucking thing took off. It was crazy. It was ugly. And thankfully, it seems to be about done now. It was bad enough that I am on my third pair of undies since my shower like 20 hours ago and had to put a towel down on the chair. Not to protect the chair, really, but to keep what had ended up on the chair getting back on me. I about freaked out kinda late last night. I stood up and everything shifted, so I tried to fix it and all that, and turned around and a ton of blood had poured down on the chair in those few seconds. It was bad.

But things are much better today, which is good.

I again spent a good bit of time in 76 yesterday, though it was a little bit less than it has been the past few days. Got some stuff accomplished and I found a pretty nice legendary Gatling Plasma! I was pretty stoked about that. Then a bit later, on a different server, someone triggered the SBQ fight. This was the most horrible Queen fight I’ve been in, and that includes the one where I died like 10 times.

There were a bunch of people there, but apparently no one with much damage. The fight took almost the whole half hour, and twice when the Queen landed, she bugged out and just stood there and wouldn’t take damage. I think we finished it with like two minutes left, but I ended up using over 500 shotgun shells, 10 Plasma Cores, 40 Stimpaks, and All Rise broke on me.

On the bright side, I got a little bit of the Flux that I need. Unfortunately, the rest of the loot from the fight was garbage.

As for today, I’m not quite sure what I’m going to be doing yet. I don’t have any plans in particular and I’m feeling well enough that I can do more than just sit here and whine/cry/bitch/die. I’m sure there will be plenty of 76 today, which is not a bad thing.

Still thinking about a second camp with the laptop, but there are a few things I need to figure out. Like where to put it, and what to put in it. I’ll get that all figured out and shit in the next few days. I want to get that done and get the kitty tree taken apart this week. That’s about all I really want to accomplish.

I think I mentioned that I got the horrible power bill this month. I looked at the thermostat and it was set for 68. I don’t remember doing that all, and I have no idea how long it might have been that way. That explains a few things. But, it’s due tomorrow and I have managed to be $100 short. I’m not even sure how since it wasn’t all that long ago that I had like…$300 extra.

I think I’m about done for now. I’ve got thoughts, but they’re not fully formed yet, so I will save them for the moment. I may be back later, if only to post a pic. Ciao.

Tired Of Everything.

Well, maybe only like 95% of things.

9:06pm

So.

I’m sick of all this shit. I’m just so tired of shit fucking up or going wrong or fucking dying. I’m tired of this oppressive loneliness. I’m tired of…I doubt I need to go on.

I’ve been playing Fallout 76 most of the day today. Got some stuff I wanted. Got int a SBQ fight, but it glitched and broke when she had like 5 HP. She just kinda disappeared…we didn’t get XP or a reward or the Event completed or anything. On top of that, during that fight, there was a level 35 there. As you might imagine, he shouldn’t have been. And he was standing near me when I died right towards the end of the fight. I respawned right next to where I was, but that fucker stole almost all my junk. I think that was today, at least.

And then there was this a little while ago. I am going to copy/paste from Steam, so I don’t have to type the whole thing again:

So, earlier, I logged in with my other non-stream character, and gave all her shit to Jadeadara…tons of scrap and ammo…and some weapons and shit. So, a few minutes ago, I go back to camp from Watoga. I go and exit the Power Armor so I can do stuff. And it fails…it fails like..25% of the time and fucks the game, so you can do almost nothing. I forgot this…and hit Ctrl-Alt-Del, which is normally fine, because the Pip-Boy will keep anything else from happening. But the Pip-Boy doesn’t do anything when the game fucks up, but it certainly threw a grenade just fine. The problem…I had almost no health. It killed me dead. And I couldn’t res or anything. I had to forcequit. Of course, I didn’t think about this until I logged back in….all my junk had dropped when I died, because what I had tranferred, I had no room for in the stash. So, it all went in the bag….when went on the floor in the house. Which is fine…but I couldn’t respawn. I didn’t think about that..and then I realized that all that junk was on some other server that I wasn’t connected to anymore. And floating in the air…so…thousands of pieces of junk are gone. And I had a ton of lead, because she had some, and I’ve been snatching it up as much as I could all day. And I had a shitton of steel again, which was nice, because I had zero. And now I have zero again.

If the thought had occurred to me, I would have logged in on the other account and grabbed that shit.

Blah. Fucking hell…lost a ton of stuff twice today. I was so pissed. I still kinda am, I mean, that was only like 45 minutes ago. Fucking hell. I tweeted at Bethesda a few times, but it’s not like they bother to, well, probably even read it, much less reply.

Speaking of…it seems that pretty much everyone is ignoring me or whatever right now. I mean sure, people can do stuff that doesn’t relate to me, but I don’t have much left, and when what I *do* have isn’t there, either…

I don’t know what the rest of the night is going to be like. Part of me wants to jump back in to 76. Part of me wants to burn the computer. And it’s not like I can do anything with someone else right now. No one is around. And I suppose I shouldn’t be super surprised that Twitter is still all quiet. I mean, a lot of times, when I post, I don’t have hashtags or shit like that, and I’m not generally directing it at someone.

But even if I remember to use like #Fallout76 or whatever, it doesn’t seem to matter. I get nothing…no likes, no replies, no retweets. I’m not sure that anyone has ever clicked on one of my links from a Tweet.

Ugh. I think I transitioned to something else. Blah.

I really wish I had some chemicals right now, it might make things more bearable. Well, I have like…one drinks worth of alcohol, but that’s it. The little bit of stuff I found last night wasn’t enough to make a difference, and it’s gone now anyways. I mean, I could clear off more of my desk, but I’m probably not going to find anything.

<sigh> I will most likely just get back into 76 and wander around. I have no more Legendary Scrip to get from the machine until it refreshes. The vendors don’t have many Caps left right now, but I can change that some, just by buying more stuff.

Maybe I’ll do some wandering around. I think there are a few gaps in my map, still. I should look that up at some point. And maybe I’ll grab some junk here and there….and I just realized that I lost a few Flux I had in my inventory…including a couple I got for my Power Armor legs, but now I am back down to zero.

I suppose it’s not like my game is ruined…there’s more junk, and it respawns, of course, but…that was a lot of stuff. I mean, I suppose worse case scenario, I spend most of my time for a few days leveling a new character and looting everything along the way. Probably not necessary, but details.

Well, I guess that’s enough of that for now. Part of me wants to eat, but my stomach doesn’t seem interested at all, so maybe I’ll skip that. Or eat a pickle? Or maybe cry in the corner? Whatever.

Please Beat Me With A Brick

Enough for a nap, at least.

7:00pm

So, I did some 76 today. Nothing too super exciting. Just some Watoga action. Almost got to do another Scorchbeast Queen, but I was at Watoga Station and overburdened, so I went to walk over there. For some reason, though, they fought the queen in a weird spot. Way more south than normal, and when I got about halfway there, they had the queen killed already. I mean, the event had only been going for like two minutes. Every other time has been like 15 or so minutes, but the one time I need it to take a few minutes, some fuckers wreck her, so I get no plans. Blah. I did get a piece of armor, though.

In other news, I have to pay the power bill soon. I didn’t open it until yesterday…and wow. They fucked me hard. My bill is almost double, and I don’t know why. I mean, I don’t think it was super ultra hot or anything, so I’m not sure why I used so much more power in July/Aug than June/July. Guess I’m going to have to change the settings on the A/C.

Sleep was something that really didn’t happen a whole lot last night. Not that it’s happened that much lately at all, but you know. I’m hoping I can sleep well tonight, just because I really fucking need it. I want it. I crave it.

Switching gears, the thunderstorm that was supposed to happen a couple hours ago apparently showed up, at least partially. It was rather noisy at first. I thought maybe someone was trying to get in the front door. I mean, it wouldn’t be the first time. That’s why I need to put the trim back up at some point.

So…it’s been almost three weeks now that I’ve been without Danzig. It’s a little less than that, but only a couple days. I still can’t fucking believe it. I don’t cry as much, but I got a little ugly earlier today. I started gathering up his stuff so I can get rid of it. I mean, my cat thoughts are complex right now. It would be so much nicer if he hadn’t died. But now…I feel guilty that he died, because maybe I did it somehow? And I feel guilty when I’m not crying about it. And I feel guilty when I realize I’ve gone a few hours without thinking about him much. And I feel guilty that I hurt so much, because I put so much on him and he didn’t even know. I’m just so hurt and sad and lonely now. I miss him so fucking much.

So, what do I do now? I guess first up is getting rid of Danzig’s stuff. His kitty tree I need to take apart. I mean, it was pretty scratched up after eight years anyways. The kitty cube, the toys, though I will probably be finding those around for a long time. The kitty water fountain. I still have a ton of filters for it, because I wasn’t great at remembering to change it at the right time, but I think the pump is dying. Of course, it was running for like four years straight, so that’s not too bad for some cheap-ass little plastic pump. I’m sure there’s other stuff. Not sure what to do about my old purple blanket. I mean, it was mine at first, but it’s a little small for me to do much with it, but it ended up in a box, and Danzig used to lay in there. Then after we moved into the house, he didn’t lay in it anymore. But then, eventually Shem did, so at least it got used some.

So, I will be working on that. And I should probably do some scrubba-dubba in the bathroom. Well, I’m probably going to end up scrubbing the whole house, or at least most of it. And there are a few other things here and there that I should finally get around to. Oh..gotta scrub the freezer, since when Danzig was hiding out in the kitchen and was spending time on the top of the fridge, stuff fell down into the freezer. Mostly I’m referring to the little bits of undigested blood that were all over.

But what’s after that? I am not so sure. I mean…I’m alone in the house now. I mean, everyone else moved out in..February? Something like that. And now Danzig is gone, too. That leaves…me. Maybe a spider somewhere? Probably a few fleas around here still, too. But there are no humans or animals here besides me. I mean, I talk to my mom every day, but not a whole lot. You know..the kids only talk to me anymore when they want something. I mean, they have lives now and shit. The only other person I talk to is Auren, and we seem to be doing different things right now mostly. Hell, he’s been offline for over five hours now.

So, it’s mostly just me right now. I mean, I suppose I could go looking for another cat, but I obviously didn’t do so great with the last one. I don’t know if it would make me feel better or worse if I got a new cat. I suppose it’s not something I have to decide right now. Someone out there is asking why don’t I get some sort of plant as a compromise. That’s not a compromise, really. That’s an object. I may be able to take care of it, though. Talking to it would kinda suck. It would never reply. Not that Danzig was great at conversation, but at least he had the capacity to reply.

But one step at a time. Gotta clean the place up first, before I even think about that. Plus I’ll have to pay for at least one vet visit, which I don’t really have the money for right now. So…

It’s an hour past dinner time, but I’m not like..really hungry or anything. My tummy was kinda blah a little while ago, even. I’ll probably have a little something, though.

In wholly different news…that being back to 76. I’m racking up the funds pretty good. I’m almost at 20K caps and the limit is 25K. It’s about time to go wandering around the vendors and see if there’s any cheap stuff to get. I mean, I’m sure there is, I didn’t hit up all of it already. And I already have the 11K Neon letters plan, so I don’t need to save up for that again,

I’m considering making a second camp. I’m thinking a tiny bit about where it is now and where I could maybe move it. And I’d want to double up, probably. I’m thinking that now that I have a second account, I should make a second camp so that I can sell even more shit. I would want to put them close together, probably. It’s all just thoughts right now. I *could* also make camps at like….opposite ends of the map, or like…make the second one up north, or by Watoga. I mean, it kinda makes sense, for me, at least, since Fast Travel to camp is free, and if you’re in a team, Fast Travel to all member’s camps is free, as far as I know.

It’s an idea, nothing concrete. I’m also considering smaller changes, like changing up the current camp some, but I’m not quite sure how. I may look up some camp videos later and see if I can get some inspiration.

But all that is neither here nor there right now. For now, I suppose I am going to find at least a little something to put in my tummy and then maybe I’ll dive back into the Wasteland. It seems like there was something else I was thinking about doing first, but I don’t remember what that might be. Oh well.

I am off. I will be back. I will try to get something up tonight, but odds aren’t super great.

Does This Count?

I mean, it’s after midnight, but I haven’t gone to sleep yet.

1:37am

Got a good bit of Fallout 76 in today. I even got to fight another Scorchbeast Queen. I need some more of those, really. Didn’t get a whole lot of legendary items today, and none of them were any good. I need to find a decent legendary gun.

Got some more spray today and did the office a bit ago. Still finding a few, but that doesn’t mean much, and they could be coming from the chair and not the carpet. Before I hit bed, I am going to spray in here one more time, both the carpet and the chair. I’ve looked around on the desk and I don’t see any of them there, so I don’t think they’re jumping on me from there.

On top of finding a few, I keep feeling them on me, but when I look, they’re not there. Now, it could be that they are leaping away, but I know that a lot of it is just my brain being weird.

If you’ve seen Twitter, you know that Danzig is still hiding out in my bathroom. I think he’s still got at least a few on him despite giving him a flea treatment the other day. And I know he doesn’t feel great. And he certainly isn’t great to feel. He’s gonna need a bath soon, which means I need to get a suit of armor or something like that, because it is NOT going to be a pleasant time.

I am still super annoyed that this whole flea thing happened and I still have no idea how they got here in the first place. Blah.

I never had a real dinner today, though I did have some Funyuns and some celery. I guess that’s good enough.

Oh! I didn’t see it mentioned in the last few patch notes anywhere, at least that I can remember, but apparently you can’t sell Power Armor pieces to the vendors anymore. Blah to that. Just means I need to work a bit more to get other stuff to sell, I suppose.

I don’t have a whole lot else to add right now. Gonna head off to bed soon and I will hopefully not be laying there awake for two or three hours, but I who knows.

Let’s see…I took some pictures and hit up photo mode a few times between today and yesterday, so let’s see if I can find something to put up here.

That silly bitch, the Scorchbeast Queen mid-fight.

There we go.

Okay, next up, acquire water.

I will be back tomorrow at some point.

Day Three!

Of updates, I think.

9:08pm

Wow, it’s later than I thought.

Anyways, my flea spray came today. Of course, it took UPS all fucking day to get here for whatever reason. But I’ve gotten all the carpet sprayed, except for the front room. Should probably do that. And sprayed all over the kitchen/dining room, since Danzig has been spending all his time there. Bedding in the laundry, mattress and pillows sprayed. Office chair sprayed. Should vacuum, but I will probably wait until tomorrow.

Hopefully, it won’t take too long to find out if this stuff is working. I mean, I know it’s killed a whole bunch of fleas already, but I’m more referring to Danzig being uncomfortable and shit. Hopefully that will end soon. I mean, there’s still plenty of spray, so I can go a second round or whatever if I have to.

In other news, besides wanting to do some changing to the website, I’m wondering if maybe I should come up with a new avatar. I mean, I’ve been using Use Your Illusion II for a long time now. I also am thinking about coming up with a t-shirt or two, or something like that. Not that I would expect a bunch of people to buy them, but whatever. I mean, there used to be a Lost Haven shirt, and at one point way back, I had a custom usyrsillusion.com mousepad made.

In other news, I have a bunch of games that I want to get to. And Auren should be home from vacation sometime tomorrow, I assume late evening. That will help with gaming some, maybe. But…I want to get to Fallout 76, Fallout 4, World of Warcraft, Guild Wars 2 (since apparently the base game is F2P), maybe some original Guild Wars, perhaps Dauntless. Auren wants to co-op in Starbound and I think Warframe. I kinda want to check out Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice, since I got it in the Humble Monthly Bundle. I want to get into Star Wars: The Old Republic a bit, since it’s more F2P friendly than it used to be. I was excited when Hellgate: London came out on Steam, so I should maybe jump in that some. Auren and I haven’t played Vermintide 2 in a fair bit. I still want to check out Doom (2016) at some point, though I would have to figure out how to rearrange shit to get it installed again. I haven’t been in Path Of Exile since like, early March at the latest. I’d like to do more than just a little bit of Grim Dawn. And at some point, I am kinda thinking about switching my subscription from WoW to FFXIV to try it out for more than like ten minutes. Oh yeah…got Minecraft to get back to at some point, too.

I’m sure there’s more. And I could probably whittle this list down some if I would do more than just watch wrestling or Fallout videos when I’m sitting here most of the time.

Speaking of videos, I am kinda thinking about doing some recording while I am playing. Not necessarily streaming, and not necessarily putting it up on YouTube, but mainly for my own benefit. I mean, with my most recent Fallout 4 playthrough, I actually set it up to stream, so I was streaming that for almost 10 hours, with no webcam or mic, and not watching the chat at all, and having another stream and a YouTube playlist both embedded in the stream as well. No one showed up, but I didn’t have it listed under any game or category, so the odds of someone coming across it were pretty small.

Gah. I keep finding these little fuckers on me, but that’s probably because they’re trying to get away from all the toxic shit in the room.

Anyways, I’m not sure if I had anything else to add right now. Will be just watching wrestling for a little bit, since Guild Wars 2 is installing and that and the Network are pretty much taking up all my bandwidth.

But after that…not sure. I’ll probably just stay up late instead of trying to go to bed at the usual time. I mean, it doesn’t work most of the time now, so what’s the point?

Oh well…going to watch and think and we will see after that. Ciao.

The 13th, Part Two!

More Stuff!

7:51pm

Well, not a whole lot of stuff, really.

I didn’t mention this before, but I’m thinking a little bit about redesigning the site. Not sure if I want to do a small thing, or go all out, though. Suppose I will look around at WordPress stuff and see what I think.

Anyways, I did get my Fallout 4 video made. It’s not quite what I wanted it to be, but it gets the point across.

Kinda wish I had a better thumbnail, but I thought this was the best of the ones given to me.

I have two other videos that I made, mostly for Auren’s benefit. I never posted them up here. I suppose I should do that, even if they aren’t super interesting, really. One Fallout 76, and one really short Fallout 4.

I know it’s not much, but I made them, so I figured I might as well put them up here.

I’m sure at some point, I will make another video or two. Maybe I’ll make a few while I’m on my own for the next several days. We will see. That’s assuming I can stop watching wrestling/Fallout/etc for long enough to make a video. I mean, I can have that stuff running while I’m playing, but I can’t do it so well while I’m recording. Of course, I *did* do something like that when I streamed one day. I don’t even remember when that was, but I was playing Fallout 4 and I decided to stream it for..well, no reason really. I’m pretty sure no one watched, and I didn’t have a mic going, but it was running for a while.

Well, this is all I had right now, really. I just tuned into the WWE Network live stream so that I could watch Evolve 131. Kinda odd for another promotion to be broadcast on the Network, but I like it.

/flee