The past 14 hours have not been kind to me. You see, 14 hours ago, I went to bed, at 4am. Normal time for me. Nothing out of the ordinary. Takes me a little bit to get comfortable and fall asleep. That happens sometimes. Then, I had a really good dream. I mean really good. I thought things had changed, and I could be a little more happy again. Too bad for me that I woke up to find I was still all alone in my apartment. Except for Danzig, of course. That kinda crushed me a little bit. I don’t know if it even should have, but it did. On top of that, I had horrible acid indigestion, my esophagus was on fire with all the acid. So I had to take some more ranitidine. Mind you, I had taken two before bed, just like I do every night. For a while after that, I alternated between having bizarre, not terribly nice dreams and waking up to more acid, and going to take more ranitidine. Finally, after far too many pills, the acid subsided. I had another bizarre dream and was woken up by a severe cramp in one of my calves. It hurt really bad. I tried to swing around and put my feet on the floor, to alleviate the cramp, but I couldn’t put my foot all the way down. I actually had to press down on my leg to get my foot flat on the floor. That’s how bad this cramp was. After a few minutes, it mostly went away. Finally, I was able to sleep for a little bit more, before I woke up again, and just decided to stay up. It was close to my normal waking time anyways. Oh yes, to go along with the cramp, I also managed to get something in my eye that I couldn’t get out of there. That sucked, too.


Of course, I’ve been walking around with a limp today, because of that cramp. I’ve also spent time on introspection and questions, because of that first dream, and all I end up with is sadness and my still very broken heart. I’m in a funk, my leg hurts, my head hurts, my heart hurts. Everything hurts. And I still have most of the day to go. It’s going to be a long day, and I’m not going to like it. Maybe I should play a game for a while. Or maybe watch videos for a while. Or something. I can’t really talk to anyone about this, except maybe Danzig. He’s not a great conversationalist, though. Plus, he’s out in his kitty tree in the living room.


So anyways, to sum it up. Last night sucked, today sucks, and I’m still a lonely broken shell of a man.


And I’m still stuck in underwriting hell.


I hate life.